The Three Minute Appointment I Waited Six Weeks For

 I don't even know where to start or how to phrase it. 

The night before, I went back and forth on bringing my daughter to my first 6 week appointment because I did not want to leave her for the first time. I ended up making my husband come with me and sit in the car with her while I went to my check up. I got there 10 minutes late because it was the first time leaving the house, and it was more difficult than I thought it was going to be... 

I saw my doctor for the first time since I had given birth.

First, when I went into the room, the nurse weighed me and did not say anything about my weight and said, "Boy?" 

I said, "No, actually I had a girl!" 

And she casually deleted what was in my chart and wrote.. GIRL. She continued unfazed by this mistake in my chart and said, "Ok, everything going well, so far besides not sleeping?"

I said, "Yes, just life changing, but in a positive way." 

I questioned whether or not she heard my answer and she responded and said, "OK, the doctor will come in shortly."

My doctor came in, examined me for 30 seconds and said, "Ok, you are healing great. Get dressed and meet me in my office." 

Confused at the brevity of my exam, I put my clothes back on and went to his office where he was sitting and typing in my online chart. I couldn't help but feel like an item on a conveyor belt.

The first question he asked me was, "Are you breastfeeding, pumping or giving formula?" 

I said proudly, "I am breastfeeding and pumping, and now I think I am getting the hang of it!" 

Instead of acknowledging what I felt to be a huge accomplishment (does he realize the whirlwind I went through in these past 6 weeks?!), he said, "Ok, don't worry too much about it. My ex-wife breastfed for 1 month with 1 and 6 hours with another. Unless you are on welfare and not going back to work, it is not really realistic." 

I thought to myself... ok I didn't ask for any advice, but it wasn't the advice I would have wanted anyways. Who was the patient here anyways? 

The next question he asked me was, "What kind of birth control do you want to be put on?"

I told him, "I am still thinking about it, but I will let you know."

He said robotically, "Ok, the first time you have intercourse might be painful, but you are healed so everything should be fine. Tell the front desk that I only need to see you in the next 6 months for a check in. Congrats. See you next time."

I went down the elevator to my husband and new baby and I felt shell shocked. Is this what I waited 6 weeks for? I felt like even if I was having an emotionally or physically challenging time that I could not have even shared that with the doctor. 

All of the appointments that I had when I was pregnant that felt quick and rushed came back into my memory and at the time, I thought they were like that because I was having an uncomplicated pregnancy - but now, I realize that the care was just not there. 

The 3 minute appointment I waited 6 weeks for was the confirmation that I needed to find another physician who actually cares - I feel like I was seen physically but not actually seen. 

Looking back, I had so many gut feelings of switching to another doctor, but ultimately didn't want to disrupt or cause confrontation out of fear of how I would be perceived, but now I know that I have to be my own advocate.

—Tess P.