A First Time Parent's Musings From The Fourth Trimester
*This post was written following an uncomplicated & positive vaginal birth. Honoring all the birthing bodies and their individual & unique roads to recovery! And all the varied postpartum experiences!*
*Written in bullet points because complete sentences are not a thing in the fourth trimester.*
Month 1:
Wow, wow, wow, holy wow! I/we did that!
Birthing bodies are AMAZING
True, utter depletion
I hurt…everywhere
Grounding, landing, integrating
How is this earth angel even real?!
Getting to know my baby’s spirit
Baby snuggles are just…divine
Skin to skin to skin
Birth workers are literal angels
Can my doula just visit me weekly for…forever?
Oh, my heart!!
So, how do you swaddle?
How do I know when my baby is hungry? Or sleepy? Or has to poop? Or…?
And…I’m *still* bleeding
Squishy-soft belly…where did my core go?
Tears and tears and tears
Grieving moving away from the magic of pregnancy and birth
Processing birth. Recounting all the details with doula and partner
Oxytocin and adrenaline cocktail
Silverettes!
Padcicles! Witch Hazel for the win.
All the Arnica
Yessss Sitz bath
Baby has lost too much birth weight in the first few days. Am I starving my baby?
Pumping and finger feeding through syringe until milk fully comes in
They say your milk should come in between day 2-5….
End of day 5 (after many tears & fears): “My milk is flowing!!”
Ouch! My breasts & nipples HURT!
I don't have enough clothes that fit my baby. Why didn't anyone tell me that newborn sized clothing & size 0-3 months are completely different?! They all said, “don’t get newborn clothes, they grow out of them too quickly.”
Changing baby four times in a day because newborn diapers are super leaky
”Don’t give the baby a pacifier or bottle too soon or it will interfere with breast feeding”…okay…
Overwhelm with being around other humans but also needing support
Setting timers for breast feeding
Waking at every peep from baby
Medicinal, warming foods & fluids
Nursing makes me SO thirsty and hungry
To share or not to share baby’s face on social media…okay, we are sharing!
First walk in nearly two weeks. WOW.
I really can’t keep up with the phone…sorry friends and family!
Digestive sluggishness
My body is shrinking by the day..so bizarre.
Circumcision: beautiful ritual, tears & dissociation
I don’t want my baby to experience any discomfort
My partner is amazing
I have zero emotional capacity for my dog...please do not come to me for attention
Leap 1 for baby: sensations
Figuring out baby wearing
Baby acne?! And rashes?!
Wow, babies really do sleep all day!
Holding my baby is pure bliss
I’m so, so deeply in love
Figuring out the baby products that we actually need
Starting to write birth story but only being able to write a sentence a day
I think we are getting the hang of this! Maybe?
Am I doing this right?
Month 2:
Visits from family and friends slow down.
Just the nuclear family…this isn’t how it’s supposed to be. Where is our village?
Breast feeding becomes more easeful
Baby becomes more alert
Really get the hang of baby wearing
Settling into somewhat of a routine
Baby starts sleeping longer stretches at night
Starting to feel a bit more rested
Nervous system starts to settle
Leap 2 for baby: Patterns
Naps during the day become more challenging
Now we are only doing contact naps
As baby becomes more aware, the fussies amplify
Baby starts to get adorably chunky
Milk…flowing everywhere and on everything!!
Wow! I went a day without crying (not that I’m trying not to cry)
Starting to get out of the house more
Feeling stronger in my body
Pelvic floor PT is the sh*t after childbirth
The core rebuilding begins
First moments away from baby
Virtual postpartum appointment with OBGYN…really? That’s all I get?
First night away from home..success!
Newborn in hot springs is…just…the sweetest!
*Try* to not micromanage my partner’s parenting
Intimacy with partner…it feels strange to be back in my body (breasts are off limits)
I’m able to do more around the house as my strength rebuilds
Breast feeding is just a lot, but I love it
Staring at birth photos & videos in disbelief
Ohh the love. It just deepens and deepens.
Baby won’t take a bottle. Did we introduce it too late? But they said not to introduce it too early…
Daily bottle experiments
Spending too much money on nipples and bottles
Starting to reintegrate back into community
More available to communicate with friends and family
Way more lax about covid safety than when pregnant or the first month
Vaccines!
Am I doing this right?
Month 3:
Partner goes back to work
Oh, it is way harder to take care of a baby by yourself…again, it’s not supposed to be like this
Attempting to multitask when baby just wants to be held
Wearing baby becomes essential
Baby is getting heavy!!
Body hurts from nursing, lifting, carrying, and baby wearing
Trying to get at least one non-contact nap a day
The thought of work and child care starts to creep in…and is overwhelming
How could I possibly do anything besides care for this baby?
Sleep training..yikes. How do I do it? What is it even?
Baby starts to sleep even longer stretches
Longer sleep stretches results in Mastitis
Leap 3 for baby: smooth transitions
Thinking about being away from my baby makes me cry
Not enough support..again..where is my village?
Moments of boredom
Savoring the quiet moments
Trying to find moments of connection with partner
My baby’s smiles make me melt!!
Baby becomes more interactive & alert
Baby’s neck strength improves and feels less fragile
Baby breaks out of swaddle. What now?
Am I doing this right?
By Amy R.